MY LIFE
(CHAPTER 1)
I have started to write a blog becoz i thing it is the
best thing the internet has to provide and i guess the
main reason is that what u cannot say on people’s face u
can express with the help of this medium. I would Begin
my blog with some intro about me and then cont. with my
Life Story……..
After what I have written on my first post I want to
extend my life story to Everyone out there…… About
me : I am a 17 yr old boy not at-all attractive, dark
face, not so strong, not so good in studies… U can see
where it is going. I was a happy boy took admission in
one of the best schools of my place DBS ie and every
thing went on fine till…… one day……..
I was in 6th grade when the unthinkable happened. My
father was a Govt. employee, he was transferred to a
distance place far from where we (me and my mom) used to
live. One day when me and my mom finished dinner and we
went to sleep my mom sat on the edge of the bed and just
when she just went kept her head on the pillow, her head
struk on the Outer railing of the bed with a loud sound.
I didnt take it seriously and started laughing at her
unaware of the fact that the chain reaction has started.
My mom just gave a small Ouch and for the bathroom to
Wash her head and then she applied some ice. Everything
went fine. The next day I was ready to go to school at
5:30am as our school was a morning shift one, my mom as
usual woke me up, prepared my breakfast and dropped me
off to the bus stop. I even forgot what happened last
night and did my school as usual. At noon i returned
from school, but unexpectedly my Elder Cousin was at the
bus-stop rather than my mother. I was not sure of what
was the reason, till she said that my mom was at there
house which was right next to our house. I assumed she
might be busy with taking and stuff with my aunt. I then
went to my house kept my bag and went to my Aunt’s.
There I saw my mom laying Down in the bed with a tiery
face, and my Aunt was sitting right next to her holding
her hand. When i asked what happened My aunt said that
while my mom was washing clothes, she fainted an fell in
the bathroom, I was a bit shocked but didnt react much
as it was a simple blackout. I thought she would be all
right with a few medicine. That day my other aunt had
arrived who was my Mom’s elder sis and they went to the
most renouned Nurologist on town. The doctor prescribed
my mom some medicine and The doctor suggested my mom to
stay at her relative’s house for a few days under
observation. So we went to our nearest Aunt(Bada mashi)
house to stay for a few days. If you ask where is my DAD
in the whole incident well acctually he was not at all
informed about the situation. I guess my Aunts’ were
Either Not taking it seriously or were hiding something.
Well about me I was happy at that time coz ther were no
restrictions, no scolding and i was happy all through.
I didnt know the seriousness of the situation and i
think nor did anyone. Soon my mom was fit and fine and
we were at our house. My dad cam to see us as he used to
come twice or thrice every month and i told of what
happened and all, my father got extremly angry and
stared scolding my mom for why he wasent informed. I
took mu Dinner and went for bed …………
.
TILL THAT DAY EVRYTHING WAS HAPPY
.
AFTER THIS THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED TURNED MY LIFE
UPSIDE DOWN……..
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(CHAPTER 2)
I went to sleep on the other room listening to the fading noise of the TV. Next morning I woke to a a lot of whispering, I thought i was dreaming , I saw a a gathering of my relatives around me. My mamai asked me what I normally take in Breakfast, I said Milo and a few biscuits and she went to the kitchen to prepare. My elder cousin came to me and said that yesterday my mom fainted while taking her supper and immediately the Ambulance was called and she is now at the hospital. I was in a state of shock and couldnt react accordingly. I was kinda puzzeled in my head, as i had never been in such a situation. My mami offered me my breakfast and told me to get ready as soon as I finished. I finished my food and was ready soon. I was taken to the hospital and there i saw my mother laying with a saline bottle attached. She looked prety weak and my dad took me outside and said there was no reason to worry as she was just feeling a bit weak and would be fine soon. I sat next to my mom and she said she would be just fine. I ....................
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things keep fading and i have distoted memories of what happened then (I was in class 6 at that time) . I have fading memories about the later events, but i guess this is what happened
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I realised that my mom was in serious trouble. We ( me and my dad) stayed till 3pm and then i was sent back home and stayed with my cousins and my mami, my dad was at the hospital and was staying there for the night. My mom was admitted for about a day or two with my father with her all the time. Soon to everyones surprise Instead of her Physiacal health her Mental health Kept on Detorating, my dad was at an extreme state of shock. Soon the Hospital surrendered my mom By saying she was no longer a Physically unwell patient but a Mentally Ill one and they were not trained to check up mental patients as it was a Nursing Home. My mom got relieased from the hospital and was home with my dad. I was unknown of everything and it was not not late when i realised that she was turning mentally sick. She started doing absurd stuff around the house. That night we all slept together ( me, my mom and dad). Suddenly at late night i saw my mom getting up roaming and then again going to sleep. And she kept doing that a lot. My dad was a Deep sleeper and i was very much the opposite, i use to wake up from deep sleep even with a light Squeak. I found the first few turns of her waking up and walking around preety obvious and i thought she might be going to toilet. But soon i became annoyed. I didnt say a word and kept on seeing what she did. I knew she was sick but i was sure this was not a symptom i wished to see. Soon i guess she realised i was awake, she came near me and took my head gently in her hand and was trying to hit my head against the Edge of the bed, the same thing which happened to her and for which i laughed. She wasnt hitting hard she just kept my head on the edge and was hitting it slowly and gently as if she was preparing for a big blow. Soon she gave me the big blow but i escaped as i was aware. I was really FREAKEd out a lot at that time and called my dad of fear. He woke up in a sudden and scolded my mom for what she did. Then we all slept along with my mom beside me and she was hugging me as usual. Her activitied did not seem like under her control and i felt those were her involountary actions of the subconsious mind. That night i couldent sleep and kept thinking of what my life is turniong out to be............
THE NEXT DAY WAS A SHOCKER
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(CHAPTER 3).......
Just when i thot things were getting worse they were accordance wid the plan.. Woke up that mornin 5.30am or so.. Jus cudnt sleep. Was so Confused. Wasnt an Age of Depression. Mayb i was in a mini-depression. Cud see my Confused dad, wid no one at his side but himself. I kept Fooling around like an innocent kid.[Nw i remorse my activities durin that times]. I was so much in a state of Confusion I DIDNT GIV A DAMN OF WAT WS GOIN on.. Back to 5.30am. Woke up and saw my mom walkin around the house . Just whn i thot things r back too normal "SCREAMMMMM".... I heard Screaming Crying Breaking and all sorts of noises. Went to the othr room to see that my mom had turnd ballistic. Throwing things, Breaking things, beating tht hell out of sumone[i dnt knw]... I was taken to my room again till they brot everything in order. I saw my mashi, my didis, and my dad sitting and mom lyin on the floor. Then mom was taken to he Inside Bedroom where we all slept and i came to the Living Room. Wachin tv. Had a glass of Horlicks.... I was very Frightened at that point. Could hear my mom screaming, Cursing...... I was shivering as i was sipping my glass Horlicks. I was looking at the TV screen,,,, sum cartoon was going on..... Tried to Deviate my mind to wat was been shown on TV, just couldn't ... Things were turning out to be more ugly... As i went to keep my empty glass to the kitchen, i had to cross the bedroom, i saw my mashi and my dad struggling to keep my mom on bed as she was now trying Beating the hell out of every1 in that room.... i was Shivering...... That wasn't my mom..... That Just wasn't my mom.......... The whole day we had all our Relatives Coming to our house to see my mom, She beat them up too....
That was the last day of my Mum's Beauty Parlor Session and the last day that any1 came to our house. My Dad was Left all alone. That Night was the first time i saw tears in his eyes. I couldnt help myself from crying as I was completely broken now.. My dad said that i had to be strong, this was nothing, he said.... I was relived, I had to, I was the only one wid him...
My dad started taking BIG decisions Now.. and by big i mean really big. 1st came, going to NIMHANS {National Institute Of Mental Health And Neuro Science} Bangalore, I was said to go with my mun and dad, as my mom and my dad didnt want to leave me and go, I Had my Class-6 final exams just after 10 days..... I was told to Drop A year. I refused. They [my mum, dad and my Mesho] went without me. I was living at my Mashi's House at Buddha Mandir. I went to school from that Stop for the next 1 month till they arrived with my mom fully Cured and till my Final exams were over..... Every night i used to see my mom's glowing and smiling Face... I knew, i was so happy that everything will be normal......... I was assured, I felt so relived.........
Things Just didnt go that way.........
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(CHAPTER 4)
December the 2nd...... They Came Back.... I was So excited..... They came and entered the house. I was waiting anxiously to see my mom but didnt express it in my face. Its a Boy thing. As they Came up the stairs i Cud see my Mom, wasn't wat i expected to see, my mom's health had worsened, i could see wrinkles all over her face, as if someone smudge my mom's face, plastic surgery gone wrong, I was Shocked, Went inside as they all came in with all the luggage and sat on the sofa... They all started the usual discussions... "What Did teh Doctor Say?", "How long its goin to take?", "What medcin di they prescribe?"........ I didnt want to cry. I was suppose to be strong. So i asked "What Did u bring 4 me from Bangalore?", my dad brought a Brand new video game and a Remote Controlled Car, I tried to look thrilled and quickly took my stuff, went to the other room and started playing. I knew This act of mine will lessen the tension of my dad and thats all i wanted coz he was now the only one i got....
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Things Happens i cant recall Properly But this much was sure that she was the same when she left. We went home and within the next few days my DAD took another Big decission
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We were Shifting to HrishyaMukh, My dad's working place. I had to change my school, my frnds, my LIFE. I got admitted to BEMHSC [Belonia English Medium HS School].. New ppl, Less people, only 12 of us in 1 class. School Bus Changed to Cycle, Tiffin-Box Changed to Roadside Shops, and Clean Uniform was no longer a Priority. I used to cry at night after every1 went to sleep[ i still do]. Its a Boy thing [i guess]. I used to cry on wat my life has turned out to be...
During all these happenings I Always kept a Smile on my Face... Always... and I guess thts the Reason m Still "The Joker" Kinda Guy... Bt i dont Complain Coz i Get Happiness to see Othrs Happy.. So tht was my First Priority Nw.. To JOKE In everything..
So things went on Quit Fine thr.. i made a few Frnds... Mom was still the same bt Now The SERIES of Slow Torture STARTS By My MOM...... The patience My DAd Showd was Overwhelming... I Became His Fan and Still am... I Still ask him "How Do u hav So much Patience".... He nvr used To tell... Bt I knew he Loved my Mom a lot So NOthing else matters... NOTHING.... Thats Wat I learnd Frm Him...
I was kinda Famous in tht Skul... DBS had taught me enuf To Survive tht... "Fluent English", "Computer"(thre wre hardly any Computers Out thr)... so tht all Did help me a lot To Gt Famous... Bt Still No one knew the pain i went Thru at home Whn i Came Back Frm Skul...
The Belonoa Details ar nt tht Prior Bt i will Tell u in Brief abt wat wat hapnd Durin The 2yrs Period... Coz Ryt Aftr 2ys My Dad's Application To Gt Transferd To AGartala again was Granted... Bt in Short and Simple i will tell u wat wat hapnd....
1. I got a new Cycle
2. I learnd to Swim (we had a Pond in the Bharayatiya House We livd)
3. I saw my First BF... (Dont Go OMG...its Common thing there)
4. I Broke my Left Wrist while Playing Football...
5. Scored a Half Century in a Duce ball match...
6. Its Kinda Big So let me Begin.... My dad Got Transferd to Agartala in the mid of the 2nd year and He had to Leave us(me and my mom).. He knew i was a bit mature and Could Take Care of my mom... OOoooo Hey I forgot 1 thing... In the 1st Year of Living in Belonia I along wid my mom and Dad went to My First Tour To South India... And Almost all ov india,,, places included.. Kolkata, Vishakapatnam, Chennai, Pondecheery, Madurai, Tiruvaandapuram, Kanyakumari, Cochin, Goa, Mumbai, Delhi, Nagpur, Rachi, and Bhubhuneshwer... and a Few other places. THt trip was Full Treatment Purpose bt my dad Made Sure I had a Blast... I Had a Lot of Fun... We Visited APPOLO. On of the Biggest Hospitals, No use, Thy Didnt Treat For my Moms Disease, Thn We Went to a Lot of Other Hospitals, Almost all Big ones, ALL, and Finaly We Setteld in NIMHANS,...... i mentioned about tht in my last post... The Biggest I guess in India.. there my Mom took admission along with us in a Delux 2 Bed Cottage( I still remember BLOCK 2 it was called)... we were here for our Second Round of Chekup... It was Amazing Experience Staying there.. There was Green Grass Cotyard... A Library i used to Visit Each and Everyday... I can Still Think of those Days.. I feel... Mose of the Writings In thre was kannad/Tamil/^%#^&... Sum Language... Bt i Read Comics and "The Telegraph" Daily For 30 days... I made Frns With the Lift Guy... We Did BreakFast in the Canteen. It was an Awsom Experience... I tried to Enjoy.. I remember Our Doctor His name was Dr. Manish.. He was kinda bad guy bt atleast he Tried His Best... And During Our Course Of living Thr a Lot of Bad Symtoms Startd To Comeout of my Mom.. Experienced Mania, Sleep Walk and Even She Jumpd a Few tyms of the bed and on the Floor flat.... Those Were teryfying nights.... She used to Cry all the tyme without reason.. Tear Off Important Documents Sometimes Money... and lot lot more
Whn the Tests Were Done We ste Home With a Prescripstion Given By the Docs. SOme Pills.. thts it... 1 pill Each Day.. Each Pill Costs Around Rs. 25/=... We brot a Stock to Last for 6months as these pill are Rare.. Bt Whn we Reachd Home My Mom DIDNT TAKE Those.. Whn askd she would Eithr Cry.. Or Pretend She Swallowd and Then Hide the pill Bellow her Tongue.. and Soo on... So My dad askd For an Alternative. Thn Thy Prescribed for an Injection Dosage with a 15 day Interval.. That Costs Around Rs. 500/= per 25cc... So Kinda Costly and It is Found only in Selected Cities..So we had To get them Ordered... A year passed Without any Effect......
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Comming Back....
.......So aftr tht we came Back to Agartala and as i said I had to live wid my mom alone now... we took a Room For rent at my Sanskrit Sir's House... He is a strange Man... only Guy wid a Red Hair (ya Really RED HAIR).... He was kinda Funny Bt Very Strict With Giving marks... Bt As i stayd With him i came To knw He is a Really nice Guy... Very generous and kind... We had A Maid Servent who used to Stay With my mom whn i went to Skul and Aftr i came She left us and the routine Continued everyday.. So My Social Life Was Badly Fu*ked up... I mean Nuthin B4 or Aftr Skul hours... Nothing, just sit in the Home and Study, Not Even Tutions.... My dad used to Visit Every weekend.. or mayb after a week or two.. Finally I passed Class 8 frm tht Boring Place and Came to Agartala..... Peace at Last................................ OR is it............
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(CHAPTER 5).......
So the Journey at Belonia Ends and life at Agartala Begins again...
PROBLEM again.. and Now School... Where to Go? DBS again?
my dad Forcibly addmited me to Pranavananda Vidya Mandir...Purchased Everything.. Uniform, Books, etc etc....
Validity Days : 2
DAY 1#
Went thr First day.... No Offence To the Skul.... I enterd the Class and *Poff*... I mean WTF.... WWWTTTFFF....... Every1 was lukin at me as if i am Sum alien Or Sumthin... Sumhow i Took My Seat... I sat at the First Bench Brhind me was Sum Freako Guy Wearin Glasses and Ryt nxt to Him was 1 of the Most BEAUTYYYYYYBUF Girl I had EVER Seen.... She was the Epitome of BEAUTY, a Godess of Cutness, She was Awsssommm... And tht Fukr Freako Boy Behind me Started To ask me Random Questions.... I mean STFU dude... and Nt only tht He started to pass tht out to the entire Class... I mean I Was BOILING.... and Thn the Bell Rang and Sir Entrd Thr Room.. as usual Introduction.. and as usual Sankha Subhra Deb is a less appealing and F*cked up name so Had to Repeat tht 2 to 3 tyms infront of Every Teacher, Was Sooo Embarrassing... I found out tht i had Finshd wat they were Teaching so the Teachers were Impressed.... Bt who was there to Impress me... Tht Skul or Tht Girl... I hav to Spend 2yrs Here so i Prefferd To back out... I mean i wasnt in love With Her so :)....
DAY: 2#
Same Thing Same thing Bt Today Discovrd a New Thing... During Recess Boys Play Chua Chui and Girls Gossip........ Thts GAY man.... I thot Shud i cry or shud i laugh...
LATER tht NIGHT:----
My Crying Suru..... Fultu.... No No no No more.... Dad agreed and I was happy... So i Came Back to DBS...
Ohh 1 more thing We now Lived Bhara At AMAR INDUSTRIES... So Thr was a Lot of Banging and Welding Job so We Eventually Decided TO Change Our Stay To Nearby Quiter Place...
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SCHOOL CLASS 9 & 10
so classes started at Dbs... Loads Of Fun At Skul... Few Nice and Sexy Girls... :)... Fun Wid Friends... School was THE Place... I discoverd tht i had a Really Good IQ... No really.. atleast Above most(all) of our Class Students... Thr were two Sections BTW.. so i was kinda popular at Doin maths and Scientific Stuff... Well i was always Lyk tht.. i made a few Formulae of my own at tyms and Always Build Sumthin or the Other... I was a Member of Our Science Club.. and For my ~IQ~ i gained a bit attention.. I helpd everyone for free.. and nevr ask anything in return... coz i loved it... I used to Get huge Satisfaction whn i used to c sum1 Smile Coz of Sumthin i Did to thm.... bt soon i Discovered i had my Own Feelings and A Few Needs... A FRIEND... Sum1 to Share.... Sum1... any1... Not a person by my side... I was Quit Humorous(Still am) so I joined the ADULT JOKES HUMOROUS TEAM... Comprising Arijit, Manish, Me, Prasenjit... I mean We made Loads of fun.... We Were Sick, Sick Jokes, and Adult Themes were our Favourits... We joked On everything... Nothing Serious In our Discussions... the Only Serious Line We Said was "Oi Sir Aye.. Chup Chup!!" thats It... The Skul made me Forget all the Pain i Go Thru at Home so I lykd Cumming Everyday... 1st Love i guess Took place... ppl noticed so did a few bullys... They Calld me up and Said to Meet in the Toilet, wasnt scared at all, the whole class was, i was always the kind of Risk Taking and DareDEvil Sorta so WAT THE HELL.... Lets C wat U will Do... Went to the Toilet wid Him... Took me in a Toilet Room and Locked Me in along wid him... Started Takin... 1st Threatenings "Dnt look at her", "Forget her".. "Or else"..... DUDE F*Ck off.. Finished Thts it... Done.. so that was it... Thts All u hav got... Gr8...
Bt actually tht was Just an Infatuation... The real Deal was Just on its way,,,,
I had Eyes for 1 girl Bt thts also just simply.. Infatuation types.. coz i cant love.... Comic Character.. Its Like Donald Duck in lve.. Nt Possible and If it Does... COmedy... So SANKHA SUBHRA DEB not= LOVE.. I accepted.. Bt i Stalked her.. Her House.. Her Room.. i used to Spy on her... BAD BAD BOY... i knw.. Bt I Was a Bit Crazy.. So 1 day At home i thot a lot... Tht was the End of class 10... I thot y dont i just approach her.. I mean wats the Big DEAL. If she says No thn no, YES thn Yes. Nothing To loose... Prepared 4 a Big Day... Brot Gifts For Her.. It was 22nd DEcember.. My B'Day. Invited Every1. Every1 came Except her... Didnt Come... Every1 sat at ther places At APARUPA... Askin me wat was in the Bag and Some Even Guessed Tht it was 4 her.. Bt i said na na NUTHin... I sat at a Position so tht i cud c Her Enter the Door When She Cums.. Kept on staring.. Few ppl noticed... Party Ended.. Went home.. .. ..
Tht night cried a lot 4 the money I wasted on Buyin her Gifts... Really...
CLass 10 passed... Now MATURE... 2yrs Vigorous Study.. These 2 years will Build ur Career..
WTF who Cares.. Let me enjoy... Enterd DBS... class 11 12 just Satsrted so we were the First Batch af CBSE class 12 From Our School... Finally Felt Proud and tht Bachpanna Attitude was no more.. Nw tho DadaGiri Attitude... Finally Proud To Be a Boscnian... ha ha ha..
Classes Begun... and My Change Started...
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(CHAPTER 6)
I Switched..
It was a Great Morning, 1st day of Class 11 is like a breeze frm the Ocean... Goin to School like a Boss... Its like Nw we Are A Part Of the School Staff... A new Power Seem to be Vested Upon us.. For Sum 13 12 11 10 yrs in the School and nw the Final years... it was just a Overwhelming Feeling.. Great atmosphere... New Frnds.. Sum Not so Friendly.. few ppl were like my section frnds and sum from other sections... and a hand full were new. We were the first batch of class 12 for DBS and our class had like only ~30 students or so.. So we all were pretty close.. I dont know how or when bt i became frnds wid this guy(mayb coz we had a fight once) and we were like best buddies frm thn onwards, we were very close(still are), i say i dont hav a best frnd bt i guess he was(mayb is) my bst frnd. We shared pretty darn everything. We were like the Ruling party of DBS. Ahhh it was a gud feeling.. so, as we were all introduced to the Skul as the 1st batch of CBSE Class 12 , feeling was awwwssum... so it was like fun all the way at skul. At home it was all in the same. always the same problems. I wud say the things hapnin in my house were kinda responsible for my studies bt hey m nt complaining, m just sayin to show the seriousness of the situation. House was next to hell. Mom started to show awfull lot of symptoms thn b4. Things were pretty calm now. I mean watever happnd now was like Mental Breakdown (m takin abt me) and she was inflicting mental torture rather than goin physical. Now she was "SLOW Torturing" me and the family. Thn there was my sister, i had/have to take care of her an my mom on my dad's absence (which is generally 4 abt ~10hrs a day). So things were too too bad 4 me now.. I mean everyday at skul i had to pretend m happy and i still do bt m not, hav to pretend to b strong bt was so weak, had to pretend to b satisfied bt was definitely not. Everythin was pretend. A few of the slow torture things my mom did :-
1. Constantly calling out my name when am in my room (Constantly means every 5mints.. LITERALLY)
2. Standing infront of the TV while am watching constantly no matter how many times you say not to so it (Constantly means every 5mints.. LITERALLY)
3. Crying all the time for No reason. Howling and Shouting..
4. Asking the same thing again and again and again and again and again and again and again...
5. There are a Whole lot more i cant say (wish i cud)
so these r a few, there are a whole lot, lotssss more...
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Skul was Fun. Bt now sumthin went wrong wid me. Sumthin terribly Wrong. I fell in LOVE. I guess i did.. I sudnt hav. I did.. and thts whn i started to Decline. Her name was. hmm lets call her Bitch No.1(Angel - #Fake). She had a bad reputation and she was tagged as a hoe in our School.. And Damn ri8 she was. Bt i fell for her, alas.. I did.. And thn whn the news spread tht we 2 were 2gthr.. hmm... thts Whn i Started losing Everything(Frnds)... We got pretty close.. Official GF Bf and the problem was, i got serious and she was not.. well at least at that time i thot she was... It took me awful lot of time to realize tht i realy was in "love".. or was it.. mayb tht wasnt love.. wat was it... i mean i liked her,... if i had to choose between my life and hers.. i wud go wid her to live and me to Die.. BT I GUESS tht wasnt enuf.. i guess i was was incompetent with the Stuffs love Demanded.. I guess i was NUMBSKULLED... I thot i Understood Wat love Actually was and now my life was Complete as i had completed the most difficult task.. bt y.. y me.. i mean i was already sunk soo deep.. and now... hw cud i.. hw was i Suppose to f8 alone...
how....
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It is just the thot of love tht scares me now... So Coming back to the story.. it was all good for like 3months.. after that things started to change for the Worse , a bit by bit, just like a Really Long Downloading Process, tht Congress bar was Goin Pretty Slow bt Painfully.. First Came HER unfaithful Character . She won really coz i was an IDIOT... I was sooo blind,deaf and Dumb in Love I didnt see wat was right in'front of me.. I shud Stop Sayin Love.. Coz i dnt think.. i dnt feel thts love.. Love is Sumthin So Beyond Everythin.. I Respect True Love, and dnt want to use in this Context.. So Lets say "ChutiyaPanti" instead..
So she cheated, not coz she wasnt satisfied.. Bt coz she was a hoe.. and thts wat hoe's do... cummon.. She was like an Adventurer(more like Scavenger hunter).. Frnds told me tht She did cheat on me, Bt hey Guess wat, i Fought wid thm... wat do u expect.. So Soon my School Days were Turning into living Hell...
SIDE NOTE - U still Don't Believe Y i call myslf the unlucky one out... Think Again..
(still) Contd......
